I haven’t done one of these in a while. Surprised to see me?
This month’s question is “What was your ‘growing up’ moment?”
I started writing my reply to the question, and I started to think, “You know, I think I’ve written on this before…” I looked through my archives and yup, I sure had. So I’m just going to point you at that post and ask you to read it and come back here. It opens in a new window or tab, so you’ll just need to close the window or tab.
Back so soon? Okay then…
Something changed in me on the walk to the L (the train, for those of you unfamiliar with Chicago) from the counselor’s office that crappy day: I realized that the reason I was at that university was I allowed Mom to push me into it. The whole thing wasn’t her fault, it was mine. I knew I didn’t belong there, I knew there was nothing there for me, I knew I was wasting my time and my money (and Mom’s), and most of all, I didn’t want to be there. And yet, I was there. I was there because I was still thinking like I did when I was in high school: she told me where I was going, and I went.
She asked me, “Why did you tell me you wanted to go there?”
I said, “I never said I wanted to go there. I told you that I didn’t want to, and you told me that was where I was going, and that was that. I figured I’d better get used to it.”
She sat for a minute. “Oh.”
That was my “growing up” moment.
from The Sound of One Hand Typing